Lazy Holidays

This break has totally been the laziest one I can remember having since high school. I was definitely wracking up the sleep-debt through the end of the semester and then exams… I pulled more all-nighters this semester than any other, ever, and I couldn’t rid my schedule of 8:30’s, either, so… I don’t think I’ve ever been that sleep deprived. (Mostly of my own making of course, I’m the worst procrastinator). So naturally, I thought, once my last exam was through, I would have more than enough time to get all the sleep I needed. Thoughts like this comforted me when I was up at 3am trying to finish a lab report or whatever.

Unfortunately, I failed to remember/realize that one of my favourite things to do, when I have few obligations the next morning, is to stay up really late. I don’t really care what I’m doing – it’s usually something fairly useless like reading a novel, or going online, or watching TV, or whatever – but I just stay up way past midnight. I do it almost because I can. Also, since the pressures of school were lifted, I’ve been enjoying my resurgent social life, so if you’re at a bar or a friend’s place till the middle of the night, that doesn’t help your sleeping habits either. Basically, I’ve been staying up way later since school ended than I was during school. The main difference is that now I’ve been sleeping in till noon-2pm (which I’ve never had a habit of doing, even when I was younger). I never used to stay up this late either. Don’t think I really like it, but it’s a hard habit to break. There’s always something that keeps me up. Maybe tonight I’ll get to bed by midnight.

Christmas was really nice. My sister got me the DVD of the Battlestar Galactica mini-series (it’s our favourite show for a few months now, ever since I saw the mini-series on Space and then downloaded the entire series, my first use of BitTorrent). I got her the new Harry Potter movie. Mom and Dad got me a new electric razor, along with shopping money and numerous little things. We all got Mom this new outfit (which I picked out- me, entirely, with Beth’s approval, but it was all me. I refrain from mentioning this to people, but I’m saying it here, for the record). It looks quite sophisticated – she almost never shops for herself, so we love getting her new clothes. Beth and I got Dad two CD’s. Beth also got me this awesome green vest that I wore to my aunt and uncle’s that day for Christmas dinner. My cousins got guitar hero for their Wii – pretty addictive. Then we played Super Mario Galaxy or whatever it’s called. Much more my type of game, I love exploring, and I used to love Mario games when we used to play Nintendo.

Hung out with Tara, Thomas, and Rebecca two nights ago. Old friends of mine. I went to high school with Thomas and Rebecca – they’ve become idols of mine. Graduated two years ago, both now doing their graduate degrees; Thomas at U of T in botany, and Rebecca at McGill in entomology. Tara’s doing social work at Windsor. It was a wonderful night. After driving around with Tara, getting a snack, we picked up Thomas and went to Rebecca’s, where we ate, drank wine, reminisced and caught up until, like, 4am. It was so nice! Hopefully I’ll see them all again before they fly back.

Hung out with Shannon, Rachel, and Megan last night. Rachel, Shannon and I go to the same university, and Megan’s home for Christmas. They’d have to be classified as my core group of friends, and have been part of my social life since junior high. Megan’s coming out is going swimmingly – I knew that the other two would take it fine, but of course, it’s going to be nerve wracking anyway. Megan told Rachel last Saturday, and Shannon last night. I’m really lucky to have them all as friends, they’re so awesome. We had one of our rare semi-serious conversations about the future last night. It almost feels like everything’s out in the open now, and we can go into the future without feeling like we forgot to do something, or say something, or whatever. It’s a good feeling. My coming out, though not a big deal for them, was for me, and it certainly made me feel a lot better this year. And now Megan’s is complete- at least, to us. It’s going to be so interesting to see what happens to all of us in the future. Megan’s going to be done her music degree this year, and then she’s going into education. Rachel’s finishing history, also going into a B.Ed. And Shannon, finishing, poli.sci., has applied to law schools (she’ll definitely be accepted), and as for me, finishing biology this year, I’ve already been accepted to law school. But I’m going to France next year (that’s for another entry). We’ll all probably be at different schools… sort of reminds me of the end of high school, a great dispersion… but you keep in touch with the people you want to keep in touch with I suppose. We talked a lot about marriage and family and stuff, too. Rachel says she definitely wants kids, at least two, and marriage wasn’t a necessity, but she’d do it if her partner wanted it. Megan is open to marriage and kids, but her music and teaching is the most important thing to her, and she’d put that above having a family if she had to choose. She also wants to live in a nice old house that she’d fix up herself. Shannon, on the other hand, doesn’t want kids, and doesn’t really want to get married either. Successful career is more important to her, and she’d be fine having a common law with a guy, in an apartment in a city. Which resembles more closely what I’m into right now, which is moving to a city and having a successful career. In terms of relationships, I really don’t know what I’d ideally want… I’d be open to kids. The thought both delights and terrifies me, but if I found a guy who I really loved and who really wanted kids, I’d definitely do it. Adopt, I would imagine. But, I mean, I’ve never even had a real boyfriend before. All of my non-platonic relationships with guys have been transient and superficial. Fun, usually, but not deep or lasting. Shannon’s the only one in a couple of the four of us. Makes me feel better, really, that I’m not the only one. But I leave a lot of that stuff, future stuff, relationship stuff, up in the air, unplanned. Whatever happens happens, for now, and really, there’s plenty of time for finding a guy, and settling down. I have tonnes of other things to think about and plan for anyway. But the future will be interesting, that’s for sure.

Okay, enough for now :)